Separation Checklist

What to do when
separation happens

A practical step-by-step checklist for men navigating separation in Australia. Work through this at your own pace — you don't need to do everything at once.

This checklist is designed to help you stay organised and protect your interests during one of the most difficult periods of your life. Items marked Do First should be prioritised in the first days and weeks. Everything else can follow in the weeks and months ahead. You don't have to do this alone — Men's Court Support can help you navigate every step.

Immediate Safety & Stability

Ensure you and your children are safe Do FirstIf there is any risk of violence, contact police on 000. If you need to leave the home, do so safely — take essential documents and personal items.
Establish where you will live Do FirstDo not leave the family home without legal advice — leaving can affect your rights to the property and your children. If you must leave for safety reasons, document why.
Establish a routine for your children Do FirstAgree informally (in writing if possible) on where the children will live and how time will be shared while longer-term arrangements are sorted out.
Start a record-keeping journal Do FirstWrite down dates, events, conversations, and anything significant. This journal may become important evidence. Be factual and detailed.
Change passwords on personal accountsEmail, banking, social media, cloud storage, and any accounts that contain personal or financial information.

Your Children

Notify your children's school or childcare Do FirstInform the school of the separation and update emergency contact details. Ensure both parents are listed unless there is a safety reason not to.
Secure your children's passportsConsider holding the children's passports to prevent international travel without your consent. If you are concerned about removal from Australia, complete a Child Alert Form with the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade.
Keep children off social media discussionsDo not post about your separation on social media, especially anything involving your children. Do not speak negatively about the other parent in front of the children.
Consider counselling support for your childrenSeparation affects children differently at different ages. A child psychologist or counsellor can help them process what's happening. Ask your GP for a referral.
Document your time with your childrenKeep a diary of all contact — dates, times, activities, who was present. Record any missed visits or interference with your parenting time.
Consider a parenting plan or formal ordersIf you cannot agree informally, Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) is the required first step before applying to court for parenting orders. See Fact Sheet FS-009.

Finances

Important: Opening your own bank account and protecting your finances is sensible and appropriate — but continue to meet all existing family financial obligations (mortgage, rent, utilities, children's expenses) during the separation period. Stopping payments unilaterally can be used against you in property proceedings and may constitute financial abuse.

Open a bank account in your name only Do FirstHave your salary and income paid into this account. This gives you financial independence without stopping joint obligations.
Document all assets and liabilities Do FirstMake a list of everything you own jointly and individually — property, vehicles, bank accounts, superannuation, shares, investments, debts, and loans. Gather recent statements for each.
Protect joint accounts appropriatelyContact your bank about requiring dual signatures on any significant transactions from joint accounts. Do not withdraw large amounts unilaterally — this will be scrutinised in property proceedings.
Create a post-separation budgetWork out what your income and expenses will look like going forward. Consider housing, living costs, child expenses, and potential legal costs.
Notify Centrelink/Services AustraliaReport your change in relationship status. You may be entitled to different payments or obligations. Child support can be arranged through Services Australia — call 131 272.
Consult a financial counsellorFree financial counselling is available through the National Debt Helpline (1800 007 007). They can help you understand your options and plan for the financial impact of separation.
Check your superannuationLocate all superannuation accounts (yours and your partner's if possible). Superannuation can be split as part of property settlement. See Fact Sheet FS-005.
Review your will and beneficiariesSeparation does not automatically revoke a will in most states. Update your will and the beneficiaries on your superannuation, life insurance, and other accounts.

Legal Steps

Get legal advice early Do FirstEven one session with a family lawyer early in the process can help you understand your rights and avoid costly mistakes. Start with Legal Aid or a community legal centre if cost is a concern.
Understand the 12-month ruleYou must be separated for 12 months before applying for divorce. The 12-month clock starts from the date of separation — record this date clearly. See Fact Sheet FS-013.
Note the time limits for property settlementIf you were married, you have 12 months from the date of divorce to apply for property settlement. For de facto relationships, it is 2 years from separation. Missing these deadlines can affect your rights. See Fact Sheet FS-005.
Attempt Family Dispute Resolution (FDR)FDR (mediation) is required before applying to court for parenting orders in most circumstances. It can also be used for property matters. See Fact Sheet FS-009.
Formalise parenting arrangementsInformal arrangements are a starting point, not an endpoint. Parenting Plans are written but not enforceable. Consent Orders approved by the court are legally binding. Discuss which is appropriate with your lawyer.
Apply for child support assessment if neededChild support can be arranged privately between parents or through Services Australia. A formal assessment through Services Australia ensures the correct amount is calculated and can be enforced.

Documents to Gather

Personal identificationPassport, driver's licence, birth certificate, Medicare card.
Children's documentsBirth certificates, passports, Medicare cards, school records, medical records.
Financial documentsBank statements (last 12 months), tax returns (last 3 years), payslips, superannuation statements, mortgage documents, loan agreements, credit card statements.
Property documentsTitle deeds, rates notices, mortgage statements, insurance policies, vehicle registration papers.
Business documents (if applicable)Business financials, trust documents, company records, shareholder agreements.
CorrespondenceSave all text messages, emails, and written communication with your ex-partner. Screenshot and back these up in a secure location.

Your Wellbeing

See your GP Do FirstSeparation takes a significant toll. Your GP can help with mental health support, a referral to a psychologist under a Mental Health Care Plan (up to 10 subsidised sessions), and overall health monitoring.
Tell someone you trustIsolation makes everything harder. Tell a friend, family member, or colleague what's happening. You don't have to carry this alone.
Limit alcohol and other substancesSeparation is a high-risk period for substance misuse. What happens in your personal life during proceedings can and does affect your case.
Maintain your routinesExercise, sleep, and routine are not luxuries right now — they are how you stay functional for your children and your legal matter.
Contact Men's Court SupportWe can connect you with peer support, legal referrals, and resources — at no cost. menscourtsupport.org.au

If you need help right now

Emergency000

Lifeline — 24/7 crisis support13 11 14

MensLine Australia — 24/71300 789 978

Beyond Blue — 24/71300 22 4636

Family Relationship Advice Line1800 050 321

National Debt Helpline1800 007 007

This checklist contains general information only and does not constitute legal advice. Every situation is different. Men's Court Support recommends you seek independent legal advice about your specific circumstances. If you are in crisis, call Lifeline 13 11 14 or MensLine 1300 789 978.

What to do whenseparation happens